Okay, Fortune Cookie, What Do You Have in Store for Me This Time?

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Okay, Fortune Cookie, What Do You Have in Store for Me This Time?
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I swear to god, fortune cookie, if this is your way of telling me someone broke in and stole my TV, I am NOT going to be a happy camper!

I Believe It Was the Philosopher René Derpcartes Who Once Said:

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I Believe It Was the Philosopher René Derpcartes Who Once Said:
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"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

Wise words, indeed.