And If You Even Think of Responding With "Lol," I Will Slap You With My Thesaurus

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And If You Even Think of Responding With "Lol," I Will Slap You With My Thesaurus
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Pretty solid, except you can tell that the second sentence of the second paragraph is just a list of all the words that appear under "hott" in the thesaurus.

Maybe Some Legos Too

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Maybe Some Legos Too
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The date went splendidly until Jimmy started drawing penises all over Big Bird and crude breasts on Smurfette. He spent the rest of the night in the time-out corner while Jenny's mom, finally giving in to Jenny's insistent wails, went out to buy a new coloring book.