I think it's safe to say that the toilet paper has a leg up on "ability to emote" over Kristen Stewart too.

"No," she replied with a smile. "I peed." Then they got married and lived happily ever after, until one day when he walked in to find her pooping instead of peeing. There was a messy divorce and an embittering, soul-deadening custody battle. The end.

That's what you get for drooling over the covers in the romance section of your local bookstore.

Say goodbye to the childhood I've just ruined.