The Greeks Knew How to Stay Safe

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Gandalf is Here to Protect Your Junk

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Age-Appropriate Condoms

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There's No Canceling That Contract

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More Reasons to Have Safe Sex

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Ed Hardy Condoms: Because Your Penis Might as Well Dress Like a Douchebag

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The Ed Hardy clothing company, popularized by jackasses everywhere, has announced a line of condoms. These jimmy-jackets come in 5 "passionate" flavors guaranteed to have your date feeling like they settled. 

And, rumor has it, that if you pop on that rocket-protector it while covered in Axe body spray, it opens up a magical portal to New Jersey. 

The Saddest Refund

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can't handle them condoms need a refund
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Returning condoms shows a certain level of disappointment and finality don't you think? This guy could have easily saved them for another day, but no those unused wang wrappers were just a constant reminder of his sexual failures. 
The condoms are so depressing he can't even have them in the house.