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If you think these names sound like the punchline of a bad joke your uncle would tell, that's because you're correct. The news station later sent out an apology for using unverified information in their report, but not before it was archived by the internet.

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That face is the least consensual face I've ever seen.

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"Ooooh, yeah, then I'm gonna poke those weird pouches beneath it, yeah. With my finger."