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If you think these names sound like the punchline of a bad joke your uncle would tell, that's because you're correct. The news station later sent out an apology for using unverified information in their report, but not before it was archived by the internet.

He recognized the spambot almost immediately, but didn't stop there. What follows next is some of the most emo poetry you will ever read. It's a shame the spambot only cares about getting naked because this dude would have totally become a tree for his new friend.

"We will grow a forest from our new bodies." "Help me rot into the earth."

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