Kudos for getting a girlfriend who makes sure you're healthy and well-rested, especially since most people get less sleep after getting a girlfriend/boyfriend.

When even people who profess their love via video game characters find the "arrow to the knee" line hard to swallow, you know that joke has probably run its course.

I used to play mobile games on my smartphone, but then I took a graphing calculator to the face.

Youtuber no9sniper brought Skyrim to his TI-84 graphing calculator. It's obviously a bare-bones, mostly text version of the vast and sprawling world of the original, but it still features basic items, quests, and combat with a variety of mythical uglies. Perfect for when your math teacher starts to complain about you bringing your widescreen hi-def PC monitor to class.

"I broke you Xbox?" Is she texting her console?

What I'm saying is that you can leave me if you must, but the xbox stays.

From the original source:

Forgot to take an old ad off Craigslist. Now I just mess with people.

If you think you have it bad, just image how the French feel...