Spermnapping

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Spermnapping
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From the submitter:

So my fiance really wants to have a baby.

I'm not sure "really wants" is strong enough, dude. "Passionately craves" might be closer.

Give or Take a Couple Weeks

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Give or Take a Couple Weeks
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This is no doubt how the news was broken to Snooki. lololJersey Shore jokes.

Once You Pop, the Fun Don't Stop

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Once You Pop, the Fun Don't Stop
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The original could technically make sense, since sex burns calories and makes going to the gym irrelevant. Five solid hours of conceiving is equal to one hour at the gym. #factsimadeup