From the submitter:
What can I say to my bestfriend on such a cliche day? Something that will get a rise out her. What is a BFF with a vast library of bathroom humor to do?!
HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH ANOTHER FANTASTIC PRODUCT
IF YOU'RE LIKE OTHER AMERICANS YOU LOVE TO EAT CHIPOTLE
BUT YOU HATE ALL THOSE TERRIBLE BLOOD STAINS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR
WE'VE GOT THE PERFECT PRODUCT FOR YOU
Pshh, "diarrhea" is just bad gas in the world of Words With Friends
Time is money, especially when you're in the bathroom at work.