I'm working on my pooping speed, so hopefully i won't bother you for too long.

HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH ANOTHER FANTASTIC PRODUCT

IF YOU'RE LIKE OTHER AMERICANS YOU LOVE TO EAT CHIPOTLE

BUT YOU HATE ALL THOSE TERRIBLE BLOOD STAINS IN YOUR UNDERWEAR

WE'VE GOT THE PERFECT PRODUCT FOR YOU

never leave your phone lying at the dinner table unattended

And the best part is, he can calculate exactly how many tax dollars he's earning with the Poop Salary app!

the HORROR

(R-r-r-repost!)