Apple Knows Exactly What Its Customers Want

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I also wish that Apple launched a merciless litigious assault on anyone who also tried to make a bulky iPhone that couldn't make calls.

There's No App for That

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If Apple's new iPad lets me use it as a cutting board, I MIGHT consider getting it. MAYBE. It'd at least give them a reason why they made it heavier and thicker than the iPad 2.

Min-iMe

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Just wait until you get the NEW iPad: Not only will you feel smaller, you'll also feel 20 pounds lighter!

You Don't Deserve Technology, Sorry

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You have to earn the right to use an iPad, which requires something that resembles common sense.

His Favorite Markers Were Black and Yellow

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Of course, this is from the guy who drives foreign cars, that's erryday. A million off a tour, that's erryday. Hundred broads, that's erryday.

The list goes on from there.

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