Grammar Nazi Whale Doesn't Write Essays Either

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Grammar Nazi Whale Doesn't Write Essays Either
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As a species, iPhone whales have to pay very close attention to their facial hair. A few inches can mean the difference between a hipster and a Nazi.

Bigger Is Better

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Bigger Is Better
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Alt caption: buys moustache curler, uses the heat from the iPhone's energy-hemorrhaging battery to do the exact same thing.