I knew buying those two iPhones would comes in handy someday!

Feeling lonely at a party? Don't worry, there's nobody to make you feel OK with this!

I could have sworn I felt something vibrate. Wait, nevermind, that was just my crippling loneliness.

Nope, he definitely tricked you.

I'll be here anyway. Waitin' for a friend. Yup. Anyyyy day now...