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By Unknown
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What I'm saying is that you should consider either increasing your metabolic rate or lowering your caloric intake - ideally you should combine the two - in the interests of your health. #antijokechicken

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By Unknown
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My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard, and is 250% their recommended serving of saturated fat.

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By Unknown
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Ask YOUR dietitian about the wear-less-of-your-stankass-getup plan today!

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From the submitter:

My number used to belong to a girl who must have put out quite easily... Random texts from horny dudes looking for booty calls are common.