D'oh!

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D'oh!
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As they make phones smaller and smaller, this is my secret fear, especially with touchscreens. Soon all my texts will say "hey do you feel like cnx hogi wejlhnlh vhcio?,)?"

It's Really a Combination of Diet and Exercise

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It's Really a Combination of Diet and Exercise
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What I'm saying is that you should consider either increasing your metabolic rate or lowering your caloric intake - ideally you should combine the two - in the interests of your health. #antijokechicken

I Stopped Wearing Weaves and Lost SIX Pounds Instantly!

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I Stopped Wearing Weaves and Lost SIX Pounds Instantly!
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Ask YOUR dietitian about the wear-less-of-your-stankass-getup plan today!

But Your Beard Is So Soft and Feminine!

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But Your Beard Is So Soft and Feminine!
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From the submitter:

My number used to belong to a girl who must have put out quite easily... Random texts from horny dudes looking for booty calls are common.