From the submitter:
My number used to belong to a girl who must have put out quite easily... Random texts from horny dudes looking for booty calls are common.
Ask YOUR dietitian about the wear-less-of-your-stankass-getup plan today!
My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard, and is 250% their recommended serving of saturated fat.
As they make phones smaller and smaller, this is my secret fear, especially with touchscreens. Soon all my texts will say "hey do you feel like cnx hogi wejlhnlh vhcio?,)?"