D'oh!

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As they make phones smaller and smaller, this is my secret fear, especially with touchscreens. Soon all my texts will say "hey do you feel like cnx hogi wejlhnlh vhcio?,)?"

But There's So Much Protein!

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calories,fat,popular,protein,sperm
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My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard, and is 250% their recommended serving of saturated fat.

The Future Is Coming

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Sure is extra future today. Maybe we just need a change from all the nostalgia stuff we've been doing lately.

I Stopped Wearing Weaves and Lost SIX Pounds Instantly!

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fat,losing weight,makeup,ugly
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Ask YOUR dietitian about the wear-less-of-your-stankass-getup plan today!

Download the new Cheezburger app for a chance to win a GoPro HERO4! in Cheezburger 's Hangs on LockerDome