A Snowball's Chance in Hell Isn't as Low as We Thought

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cookies,Death,dying,hell,ice cream,mushy,wifi
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I almost missed the second to last line. I had to read it again. Oh, puns. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Too Close to Be a Coincidence

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Death,deaths,died,dying,friends,grandma,grandmother,snowshoeing
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From the submitter:

I was afraid to ask anyone else

Maybe you could go back in time and text Hitler's grandson. You've been given a terrible curse, but it could also be a great gift. With great power comes great responsibility etc. etc.