Too Close to Be a Coincidence

Favorite
Too Close to Be a Coincidence
- -

From the submitter:

I was afraid to ask anyone else

Maybe you could go back in time and text Hitler's grandson. You've been given a terrible curse, but it could also be a great gift. With great power comes great responsibility etc. etc.

A Snowball's Chance in Hell Isn't as Low as We Thought

Favorite
A Snowball's Chance in Hell Isn't as Low as We Thought
- -

I almost missed the second to last line. I had to read it again. Oh, puns. Ha. Ha. Ha.