You're Drunk, and I'm a Phone

Favorite
drinking,drunk,drunk driving,siri
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I don't have any opposable thumbs. Or hands. Don't be ridiculous.

I Need to Re-Train Auto Correct

Favorite
drubk,drunk,drunk texting,facebook
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It also auto corrects "so" to "sooooooo" and "wasted" to "umbrghflao."

I Whisper That to Every Car, Just in Case

Favorite
drunk,last night,optimus prime,transformers
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Occasionally I'll pick up a stick and whisper "Wingardium Leviosa" to myself before putting it back down disappointedly.