What would happen if you dropped hundreds of iPhone 5s in front of a mob of Apple fanboys (and girls)?

Baby doesn't care that you want to Instagram it.

At this point I'd say it's safe to say your phone's gone forever. The sooner you can come to terms with this the faster you can move on emotionally.

THIS IS MY PENANCE.

The best part of that Portlandia segment, condensed into an infinite, glorious loop.