Fake It to Make It

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Fake It to Make It
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False: Basilisks hate it when people they're trying to talk to are texting. It's so rude.

Seriously though, how would pretending to text help when you've run into a stray dog? Do rabies go away if you ignore it? Or is it one of those cute stray dogs that need a home, and ignoring it is the only way to not give in and take it home with you?

This Needs to Go the Opposite of Deeper

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This Needs to Go the Opposite of Deeper
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"Mobile technology: revolutionizing the way you communicate about cats and poop, one text message at a time."

Only Slightly Better Than a Text

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Only Slightly Better Than a Text
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Writing a message out is always classier than texting one. It's like the difference between sending an invitation to a fancy dinner party on a crisply embossed cream-colored card vs. an email featuring comic sans and clip art.