You're welcome, young stranger! Unless this is spam in which case go die in a fire.
From the submitter:
This continued for several more messages. It got to the point where she actually thought that I died.
Machete doesn't care about your fool contacts list, either.
I was afraid to ask anyone else
Maybe you could go back in time and text Hitler's grandson. You've been given a terrible curse, but it could also be a great gift. With great power comes great responsibility etc. etc.
Don't Lie Now!
Neville Longbottom Scandalizes J.K. Rowling With His Huge ...
These are Disney's 5 Most Horrific Deaths
Wanna Make Your Anime Creepy? Just Add Avocados.
Cone Of Shame? You Mean My Perfect Water Feeder!
Time to Give Up on Humanity
Introducing Specialman, With the Power of Abilities!
Ryan Reynolds and Deadpool Make-A-Wish
Someone Figured Out How Far Frodo and Sam Walked
Harry Shearer May be Leaving The Simpsons, but Maybe This ...
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more