An Absentee Excuse That's Worth a Lifetime

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An Absentee Excuse That's Worth a Lifetime
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You're welcome, young stranger! Unless this is spam in which case go die in a fire.

Too Close to Be a Coincidence

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Too Close to Be a Coincidence
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From the submitter:

I was afraid to ask anyone else

Maybe you could go back in time and text Hitler's grandson. You've been given a terrible curse, but it could also be a great gift. With great power comes great responsibility etc. etc.

Dial D for DEAD

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Dial D for DEAD
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From the submitter:

This continued for several more messages. It got to the point where she actually thought that I died.