Remember, kids! Always silence your phones! And if you don't, make sure your utility belt is stocked with an ample supply of smoke bombs and ninja stars.

This is only PART (!!!) of a string of texts from a young woman after only one (1!) date.

Gurrl, I don't care if you just got a new phone or not, if you have to play games like these, it's probably not working out.

An addiction that creates stress, speeds the aging process, and eats at your bank account? Yep, sounds like parenting. Or crack. But mostly parenting.