Drat, why does "Son" have to be so close to "Marriage Counselor" on my contacts list?
Hey girl, Imma say hi and add a pic of my smoldering gaze so you know I really mean it.
It'll save him a rightfully earned lecture on how a grown man doesn't know how to boil corn.
Whenever anyone says "it's me" via text, you can safely assume that he or she is over the age of 50 and has been texting for fewer than one year.
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