It Only Took Two Hours to Forget the Hint

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It Only Took Two Hours to Forget the Hint
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There's at least one mama out there who's desperate for some babies.

Always Assume That Strangers Are Child Molesters

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Always Assume That Strangers Are Child Molesters
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Whenever anyone says "it's me" via text, you can safely assume that he or she is over the age of 50 and has been texting for fewer than one year.

Struck Out

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Struck Out
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Hey girl, Imma say hi and add a pic of my smoldering gaze so you know I really mean it.