In Your Face

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In Your Face
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What I'm saying is that I technically ejaculated onto your face.

Dad Keeps It Fresh and Mint

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Dad Keeps It Fresh and Mint
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You took a screenshot using Instagram? Son, I am disappoint.

Just, Uh, Just Forget It

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Just, Uh, Just Forget It
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Bro: It's now a verb.

And usually i catch myself before I text something lame. Less so with speaking, which is why I somehow found myself blurting "The Puppy Bowl will be a total cat-tastrophe!" the other day. Dumb. Dogs aren't even cats.