Only Slightly Better Than a Text

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Only Slightly Better Than a Text
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Writing a message out is always classier than texting one. It's like the difference between sending an invitation to a fancy dinner party on a crisply embossed cream-colored card vs. an email featuring comic sans and clip art.

LOL But Seriously We're Done

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LOL But Seriously We're Done
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Not even the gentle, soothing humor of an autocowreck can mend the hole where his heart used to be.

Crisis Averted

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Crisis Averted
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What I'm saying is that you can leave me if you must, but the xbox stays.

Still in the Running

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Still in the Running
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That awkward moment when you realize you've been on The Bachelorette this whole time...