From the submitter:
This was a convo I had with my Salvadorian fiancé
We've already heard about cats who play app games, but can they possibly compete with a bearded dragon? I mean, this guy can use his freaking tongue. HIS TONGUE.
And began the greatest experiment ever.
HEY LADIES! PUT ON SOME CLOTHES AND RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
THERE'S A MUTANT PUG STANDING OUTSIDE YER WINDOW
Oh god, there's uplifting guitar strumming and a chorus of singing children and the elephant's name is Peter. My cute detector just exploded.