I Was Mostly Impressed by the Magic Glowing Box

Favorite
acid,battery,drugs,found,lost phone,returned
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He's a remarkably coordinated texter for someone on three tabs of acid.

She Don't Take No Disrespect

Favorite
acid,cactus,ho,Pirate,yo ho ho
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Arrrr, me and me mateys commonly stow a shipment of cacti below decks for simple fools such as yeselves.