This Crazy Argument Might Make You Want to Stay Single Forever

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WARNING: Language and toxic levels of batty in this video. Also, unsurprisingly, the divorce papers were served shortly after this video was taken.

Mind Control Just Ain't What it Used to Be

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Mind Control Just Ain't What it Used to Be
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Listen, if you mind control a highly-trained government assassin, you can't expect him to be well-versed in animal care.

Dad Watches Too Many Horror Movies

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Dad Watches Too Many Horror Movies
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Then they'll use that finger to unlock his phone, look up your address, and mail you the finger- at least that's how it would go in the movies. Love horror stories? Prefer the softer, gentler side of Halloween? Either way, check out Cheezburger's Halloween site!