Ol' Grampa Pedobear

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old man,pedophile,picture,wrong number
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After some quick research on his pedophile computer, Pedobear rushed out of the pedocave in his pedomobile. The pedo this city neither needs nor deserves.

It's OK, I'll Wait

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android,epistolary,looking it up
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Right, because he's the dumb one for not knowing what "epistolary" means.

Texting is CONFUSING

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Drafting the perfect text message is a learned art form. Just remember, the more you write, the more likely you are to literally set the other person's phone on fire.