Gaming the System

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Gaming the System
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Bonus reductions in cost if you turn on the waterworks.

One Does Not Simply Wear Sunscreen in Mordor

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One Does Not Simply Wear Sunscreen in Mordor
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"The Precious" would be a lot more precious if it gave you a seven-day forecast and the quickest route to Mount Doom.

I Keep Running But I Don't Seem to Lose Any Weight

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I Keep Running But I Don't Seem to Lose Any Weight
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Man, it seems like everyone's playing that game nowadays.

Also, if you have the conversational texting skills of a brick wall (you don't offer any of your own information and repeatedly ask generic, open-ended questions - "how are you?" and "what are you doing?"), then people will ditch you to play a video game. Sorry, but it's true.

Wrong Number Fillet

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Wrong Number Fillet
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Johanaaaaaa doesn't want to hear about the music playing at a bar she isn't in anyway.