Sweet, Jeff's Bringing the Spicy Food and ExLax

Favorite
let's get this party poop,lets-get-this-party-poopin,sms,text,text messaging,texting,toilet paper,txt,txting
- -

"Alright, who's on coconut milk duty?"

"I don't know, ask these guys.

Dear Drunk Self

Favorite
AutocoWrecks,bf,boyfriend,dating,gf,girlfriend,iphone,ipod,sms,text message,text messaging,texting,txt,txt msg
- -

"Do not use social media or communication devices of any kind."

Sincerely, Sober Self

Speaking in Drunkish

Favorite
drunk texting,drunkish,facebook,iphone,phone,smartphone,sms,text
- -

We have the top scientists trying to figure what the hell you said.

Why is the Rum Gone???

Favorite
mixer,mom,orange juice,parent,parenting,Rum,sms,texting
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Jeez, Mom, lern2mixers.

My Mom's Cooler Than Your Mom

Favorite
joint,marijuana,mom,parenting,pot,prison,sms,texting,weed
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She was on a little bit of a bad ass streak.

How Was Your Night Last Night?

Favorite
AutocoWrecks,iphone,pooped myself,pooped pants,sms,table dancing,texting,who is this,wrong number
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"Crappy."

Mom Needs a Little Explanation

Favorite
420,happy holidays,iphone,mom,parenting,sms,texting
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"Happy Holidaze, Mom!" "Aaahhh, now I get it! Happy Holidaze to you too, Son!"