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ATM drunk sexy times funny news - 8196246016
Via: WKRN
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MURFREESBORO, Tenn. - A man was arrested at a Murfreesboro bar Friday night for attempting to have sex with an ATM and later a picnic table.

According to the arrest report, Lonnie Hutton, 49, walked into the Boro Bar and Grill on Greenland Drive and up to the ATM.

He pulled down his pants and underwear, exposing his genitals, and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM, the report stated.
science drugs brewing You Can Now Brew Morphine With Specialized Yeast
Via: Uproxx
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Though when we say "you" we mean "scientists with the appropriate time and resources to devote to a very fragile and complicated process". Scientists from U.C. Berkeley, Concordia University in Montreal and University of Calgary have developed a fifteen step process using three different genetically modified yeasts to turn glucose into morphine. Eventually, it could be used to produce opiod drugs easier but at the moment it takes 53 gallons of the specialized yeast to create 30 mg of morphine. 

news fertility wine science sexy times - 7954024960
By Unknown
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According to a new study, the average modern man has some sperm problems, what with the heavy caffeine intake, tight-fitting boxer briefs (bummer), and being stressed out ALL THE TIME like the rest of us. Has your man had a cellphone for more than 10 years? His sperm are probably weaker because of that as well. Great. But never fear, because wine is here! In the study, Polish researchers found that drinking two glasses of wine for three days every week may help men's little swimmers do more laps
russia news hipsters pbr - 8323176448
Via: NY Times
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From the New York Times:

A Russian beverage company said on Thursday that it was acquiring the Pabst Brewing Company, which makes the Pabst Blue Ribbon beer popular with barflies and hipsters alike and other brands like Colt 45 and Old Milwaukee.

The company did not disclose terms of the transaction, but people briefed on the matter said the price was more than $700 million in cash.

The buyer is Oasis Beverages, a Russian brewer and beverages distributor. Backing Oasis is TSG Consumer Partners, an American private equity firm focused on consumer goods, which will take a minority stake.