Why trust a filthy human to make your adult beverages? Because this is better in every way.
"Here is my good friend "Bert" (his nickname). He decided to pass out in my living room, so I decided to put permanent marker all over this 17 year old. He deserved it!"
Hey! I recognize that website at 0:35! It looks so familiar! Hmm... that's gonna bug me...
In all seriousness though, thanks for the shoutout, Thomalio! And good luck to Bert washing himself off!