By Unknown
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WARNING: Language and toxic levels of batty in this video. Also, unsurprisingly, the divorce papers were served shortly after this video was taken.

Via: Reddit
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Barbera. Dolcetto. Shiraz. Merlot.

That's more than a meal.
Via: Daily Motion
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So maybe it isn't that bloody mary (though it damn well could be more than 900 calories) but Red Lobster serves a "Lobsterita" that clocks in right around 890+ calories.